Anger Gets a Bad Rap

Anger is a necessary emotion that we all need to express at certain times. However, many of us (mostly women) have been taught that anger is unattractive and have consequently repressed it leaving ourselves vulnerable to the manipulation of others. Personally, I was not allowed any anger growing up. In my family, I was told to be quiet and be pretty - it was extremely difficult for me as I had truths inside that wanted to come out. I paid a high price for burying my anger. It took me years of working on myself before I was able to uncover it and use it to my advantage.

Anger is an essential tool in our toolbox. It is a warning sign letting us know when something is not right - for instance, when someone is invading our boundaries or trying to harm us. Many times we push those warning signals away not wanting to look like we are over-reacting - not wanting to be abrupt or unfriendly. That is a big mistake. We need anger to protect ourselves.

Anger can fuel our passions - especially anger over injustice to another that causes us to act on their behalf. Many of the greatest movements in history were the result of anger in the face of injustice. We have been led to believe (by religions) that the great masters never became angry and yet, Jesus showed anger towards the merchants in the temple and even became physical with his anger - over-turning their tables.

We are all aware of the double standard that it's okay for a man to get angry, but if a woman gets angry, she is labeled with the B-word. In the patriarchal society we live in, this certainly keeps us (women) in our place. Unfortunately, with dire consequences. It has led to the oppression of an important part of the balance of humanity. The feminine essence. We have seen this play out to extremes as our world is now in deep suffering.

In their book "Ask and it is Given", Abraham-Hicks, list the 22 emotions from highest vibration to lowest vibration. I have copied it below because I believe it to be so powerful and helpful.

1. Joy/Knowledge/Empowerment/Freedom/Love/Appreciation
2. Passion
3. Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness
4. Positive Expectation/Belief
5. Optimism
6. Hopefulness
7. Contentment
8. Boredom
9. Pessimism
10. Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
11. Overwhelm
12. Disappointment
13. Doubt
14. Worry
15. Blame
16. Discouragement
17. Anger
18. Revenge
19. Hatred/Rage
20. Jealousy
21. Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness
22. Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness

For me, one of the most enlightening experiences I had was when I heard Abraham-Hicks speak about anger. If you look at this list, you will see that anger is in the 17th position. It is not the lowest level vibration - despair and powerlessness are the lowest. My point is that if you are in despair and powerlessness, you are easy to manipulate and control. People can walk all over you. When you jump to anger to stand up for yourself, it feels fabulous because you have raised your vibration. After that, you may go on up to blame because you are realizing someone acted in a way that you believe caused your anger and that feels even better. In fact, it feels wonderful because you are working your way up the scale becoming empowered.

However, someone may say to you that you shouldn't be angry and you shouldn't blame, it is not healthy - it is not "Christian". Not realizing that you are actually in a higher vibrating emotion, you immediately feel guilty and slide back down into despair again - right where they want you. Others are uncomfortable when you are angry because they most certainly will have to change in order to relate to you and they don't want to do that. They want you quiet and powerless - to stay the way they want you to be - it is easier and more convenient for them. But what is best for you?

Certainly, staying in anger indefinitely is not the goal. Misplaced anger can cause great harm. Eventually, you will need to move up to higher level emotions if you want to continue your journey of empowerment. However, it is not an awful thing to be angry. In fact, I really believe that anger is very attractive when used in the right way. It drives passion and cuts through complacency. It shows strength and courage.

I am grateful to my anger - it has helped me get through some very difficult situations and to weed out the people in my life that did not have my best interests at heart.

If you haven't done so, give yourself the gift of being angry - it is invigorating!